A little bit of everything

I feel like I'm always thinking about having a baby and I get sad. Today as I was driving in my car, windows down and music up I was thinking when we have a baby I can't do this. That got me thinking of the "positive" things about not having a baby right now. I am in no way saying I don't want one or I wouldn't love one right now I am just trying to not focus on it all being bad... So here I go

- I can have the windows down and music blaring
- Focus on my education
- Freedom to just get up and go as I please
- Stay up late and sleep in as long as I want
- No changing diapers, every day ( I had to through that in there because I change my nephews sometimes)
- I have time to focus on losing weight and getting healthy
-Focus on my marriage, just my hubby and I

I could probably come up with a few more and these are probably silly but its helping me to know what I am going through isn't the end of the world and when I do have a baby I will cherish every moment.

I know my husband and I will be blessed with children. We planned on having at least 2 by now haha We have always said we want 5 children and although now I know we may not have that many the ones we do have I will never regret not having more. I will feel so blessed even if we just have one child :)

After I found out the results from my HSG I was crying to my DH and telling him I am sorry we are having these issue and I worry he won't be happy if we can't have children. He was so sweet and he told me he would be fine if we never have any and I honestly believe he meant that.

We were young when we got married and looking at how our lives are playing out right now I feel its Gods plan for us to not have children already. God is setting us up to have a great life to bring children into. My husband got accepted to grad school in Florida! (I'm not sure if I have mentioned this yet so sorry if I have) It will be 5 years and then he will be a Psychologist. I graduated with my associates in nursing and want to at least get my Bachelors and maybe one day be a Nurse Practitioner. I have told DH from the get go I want our children to be home school and not have to go to day care and I feel because we are able to focus on our education right now everything we have planned will happen.

I would be thrilled if we got pregnant anytime now but I know until it happens to just keep focusing on our education and getting a good life set to bring children into.

I hope this isn't a crazy post I know its kind of scattered but these are my thoughts lately. I'm trying to not be so sad about not having a child and these fertility issues and be happy that we are working on making our future children lives great :)